Now that you have taken the student inventory on www.janetlevine.com and know your triad, in this blog on Generation E and the E-model, I am going to introduce you to the three personality types in the Attacher triad and briefly describe how they may act and interact as students at school. If you are a friend of one of these E-types how can you help them?
“The Helper” (Point Two) is empathetic, nurturing, and can give of themselves with true altruism. But often Helpers feed their own emotional needs for love and admiration by giving to others, in order to get approval. They may come across as manipulative.
Working with Themselves: Point Two students are most comfortable when empowering others. They give so much of themselves, because they desire to be loved, admired, and popular. But being too available can lead some Helpers to become overly dependent on others, and stunt their independence— as learners and as people. The subliminal need for approval can create problems around boundaries. Helper Two students need to form boundaries, be aware when they are enabling others, and to become accountable and responsible for their own learning. They should state what they think, rather than parroting what they think the teacher wants to hear.
Friends Can Help Helpers: Assist Helpers to build boundaries for themselves. They are inclined to give their very selves away to friends and projects and neglect their own development. These teens are susceptible to peer pressure that can lead to destructive behavior.
“The Organizer” (Point Three) is self-assured, competent, efficient, an accomplished team-builder, and driven to achieve “success.” They avoid failure, focus on results and are task-oriented. Image-conscious Threes often subconsciously deceive themselves and others in order to “get the job done.” For the same reason, they can suspend their emotions.
Working with Themselves: Organizer Three students are all about task, task, task. “I must finish thirty pages of this text today.” “I must write the paper before it is due.” Point Three sweeps up teachers and peers alike in their forward driving energy. They move directly from idea to action with little lag time, and often need to slow down to accommodate more cautious peers. Organizers know it is hard for others to resist their goal directed momentum. They thrive on energy and excitement generated from interactions with a class or group of friends.
Friends Can Help Organizers: Help Organizers focus on feelings. Don’t ask: What did you do in class today, but rather: How do you feel about your class today? Encourage them to articulate intimate feelings. Reassure them that it is OK to fail, life goes on.
“The Dreamer” (Point Four) is creative, sensitive, and able to experience the highs and lows of deep emotions. Dreamers focus on what is unavailable, the glass is often half-empty. Melancholia is common. Point Four envies others who seem to have what they are missing.
Working with Themselves: Point Four Dreamers yearn for emotional connection, both to their teachers and peers and to what they are learning. In the process of seeking connection, they can experience abandonment, and until the connection is made, they can let other commitments slide. Point Four’s focus of attention is on what is missing, so they can feel envious of and competitive with peers. To keep on track, Point Four should develop reality checks to ascertain that they are on task. Dreamers feel they are special and seek out teachers and others in order to establish that they want to tackle assigned projects with a unique twist.
Friends Can Help Dreamers: Once you have established connection, remain committed. Help ameliorate your Dreamer friend’s mood swings by structuring situations in terms of facts and logic, and not emotions. Encourage their creativity. Avoid being critical; remember Dreamers often feel deficient to begin with. Help them count the positives. Show them the value in what they have already achieved when depression or envy arises.
Tags: Children, colleges, E-model, E-types, Enneagram, Generation E, Janet Levine, Parenting, Parents, Triads Personality Inventory, www.janetlevine.com