Whatever it is we are waiting for let’s call it “the next step.” The next step to the high school of our dreams, the college we know is exactly right, the graduate school that will crown our academic life, the position we have prepared for years to enter…and on and on like a hamster on a wheel. Unfortunately, the next step, while not always, most often leads to heart break and the crushing of hope. Or does it? How do we handle disappointment? Maybe the more appropriate question is how do we handle our expectations? I work with many adolescents on the cusp of entering college and this time of year is stressful and poignant. A fortunate few are admitted “early” to their dream college, while so many wait for April for news. Recently one usually upbeat student came to class pale and so despondent it was sad to watch her. Urgently she held a friend’s hand through class, she was the personification of someone who had, as we say in our cliched but accurate way, been “kicked in the gut” by her rejection from college. All the air had disappeared from her enlivening buoyancy.
I am a writer, you cannot continue to write if you do not find a way to handle rejection. All writers know this and the history of literature is replete with stories of what writers do with rejection letters. Some turn them into lamp shades or wall paper. Others burn them, file them, flush them down the toilet. Some keep them in a folder, and send out yet another query letter. Keep the dream alive. Some frame the one acceptance letter that comes amongst all rejections. Somehow you have to separate the rejection letter from yourself. The same truth applies to the college process or any “next step”. Colleges build a class, they want musicians and mathematicians, athletes and astronomers, political science majors and painters. They have expectations for that class and maybe you do not quite fit the profile, but you will at another school or job, agency or publisher.
Try to separate the essential you from your “next step” application. Whatever happens to the application, you are still the remarkable, shining you that you were before the rejection.
Practice thinking in “a middle way” process; expectation not too high, disappointment not too low. Keep your balance and harmony.
Don’t indulge in a dichotomous success/failure paradigm. These are the frames you put on events. Events themselves are void, they simply are.
Allow yourself some mourning of your dream, but don’t get mired in the drama you create.
Be resilient. Create mindfulness techniques that allow you to bounce back; rationalize, talk to others about your feelings, go for a walk, meditate.
Breathe, breathe often and deeply. Then let the sap of life rise and surprise you as it is wont to do.
After reading you site, Your site is very useful for me .I bookmarked your site!
I
I really enjoy the blog.Much thanks again. Want more.
I have been looking to post about something such as this upon my web site and you provided an idea. Regards.
Thanks-a-mundo for the blog post. Really Cool.
I have to admit that i sometimes get bored to read the whole thing but i think you can add some value. Bravo !
oh cool, this information is absolutely helpful and definately is remark worthy! hehe. I’ll see if I can try to use some of this information for my very own blog. Thanks!
Im impressed. I dont think Ive met anyone who knows as much about this subject as you do. Youre truly well informed and very intelligent. You wrote something that people could understand and made the subject intriguing for everyone. Really, great blog youve got here.
Hello I was trying to find some informative information about careers advice as I am due to graduate soon. I really enjoyed Your webpage and will come back again soon.
Maintain up the very good work mate. This website submit shows how well you comprehend and know this subject.
You not visiting believe this but I’ve lost all day exploring for some content articles about this. I desire I knew of this website earlier, it absolutely was a great study and incredibly helped me out. Possess a nice a single!
I am linking this webpage from my personal blog . this has all the usefull info necessary.
I like this thought. I visited your site for the first time and simply been your supporter. Keep posting as I am planning to come to read it every day!!
Im thankful for the article.Really looking forward to read more. Awesome.
Good Website! I wanted to ask if I could quote a portion of your web page and use a few points for a school assignment. Please let me know through email whether or not that would be fine. Thanks
Yes, you can, with the correct accreditation.
Howdy this is a excellent article. I’m going to e-mail this to my pals. I arrived on this when searching on google I’ll make certain to come back. thank you for posting.
This one is an inspiration personally to uncover out far more related to this subject. I must confess your data extended my sentiments in addition to I am going to proper now take your feed to stay up to date on each coming weblog posts you may presumably create. You’re worthy of thanks for a job perfectly done!
Highly rated post. I study one thing completely new on different blogs everyday. Deciding on one . stimulating to read the paper content from different writers and be taught a bit something from their website. I’d like to apply sure of this content on my blog you’re mind. Natually I’ll give a hyperlink right here we’re at your web-site. Admire your sharing.
Excellent article my friend. This is exactly what I’ve been looking for for quite a time now. You have my gratitude man.
Thank you very much for sharing all of the awesome info! Looking forward to seeintg more posts!
I found your blog and actually enjoyed it thanx for the wonderful article!
I was very pleased to seek out this web-site.I needed to thanks to your time for this excellent read!! I undoubtedly enjoying each little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you weblog post.
Your blog is so informative … keep up the good work!!!!
Hey very cool blog!! Man .. Excellent .. Amazing .. I’ll bookmark your site and take the feeds also?I am happy to find so many useful info here in the post, we need work out more strategies in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .
Hello It’s nice to read! I like your blog and you’r style of writing! Can you give me some advice.
very nice post, i definitely love this web site, carry on it
I’m happy I found this blog, I couldnt find out any information on this topic matter prior to. I also run a site and if you want to ever serious in a little bit of guest writing for me if achievable feel free to let me know, i’m always appear for people to examine out my site. Please stop by and leave a comment sometime!
Thank you so much for giving everyone such a brilliant chance to read articles and blog posts from here. It is usually very excellent and as well , full of amusement for me and my office co-workers to visit your blog at a minimum 3 times in a week to read the latest things you will have. And lastly, we’re always fascinated with all the perfect hints served by you. Selected 2 tips on this page are honestly the simplest I have had.
This domain seems to get a good ammount of visitors. How do you promote it? It gives a nice individual twist on things. I guess having something useful or substantial to talk about is the most important thing.
Thanks so much for posting this good info! I am looking forward to checking out more blogs!
Im impressed. I dont think Ive met anyone who knows as much about this subject as you do. Youre truly well informed and very intelligent. You wrote something that people could understand and made the subject intriguing for everyone. Really, great blog youve got here.
Oh my goodness! an incredible article dude. Thank you Nonetheless I’m experiencing difficulty with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting similar rss drawback? Anybody who knows kindly respond. Thnkx
Thanks so much for sharing all of the awesome content! Looking forward to seeintg more blogs!
After research a number of of the weblog posts on your website now, and I truly like your method of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site list and will be checking again soon. Pls try my web site as nicely and let me know what you think.
I was so lucky. I found the best website for my Afterward a lot investigating, I really found the best
cool post . it is rank pretty high on google !
thanks for this nice tips
I have read a few of the posts on your website currently, and I enjoy your style of posting. I added it to my favorites blog list and will be checking back soon. Take a look at my site as well and tell me what you consider.
Thank you very much for writing all of the awesome content! I am looking forward to checking out more blogs!
Good Website! I wanted to ask if I could quote a portion of your web page and use a few points for a school assignment. Please let me know through email whether or not that would be fine. Thanks
The good post helped me a lot! Saved the site, extremely interesting topics everywhere that I read here! I appreciate the info, thank you.
Hey man, was just browsing through the internet looking for some information and came across your blog. I am impressed by the information that you have on this blog. It shows how well you understand this subject.
I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it.
rather useful stuff, overall I believe that is really worth a book mark, thank you
I am really impressed. Today I spent a lot of my free time trying to find something interesting on this topic. Finally I got to your blog. Thanks for that!
I am really amazed. Today I spent a lot of my spare time trying to find something interesting on this topic. Finally I got to your blog. Thanks for that!
I have to show my thanks to the writer for bailing me out of this condition. Because of scouting through the world-wide-web and seeing principles which were not helpful, I believed my entire life was over. Being alive minus the solutions to the difficulties you have fixed through this guideline is a critical case, and the ones which could have in a negative way damaged my entire career if I had not encountered the blog. Your personal know-how and kindness in touching every part was important. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t come upon such a step like this. I’m able to at this moment look forward to my future. Thanks for your time very much for the professional and result oriented guide. I won’t think twice to refer the sites to any individual who would like assistance about this subject.
After research just a few of the blog posts on your website now, and I actually like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site checklist and shall be checking again soon. Pls check out my web site as effectively and let me know what you think.
Very good post, thank you a lot for sharing. Do you happen to have an RSS feed I can subscribe to?
A fun piece of experienced freelance writing, its good to a number well crafted articles or blog posts on numerous websites for you to actually take pleasure in.