“If only there was a cure for unhappiness.”
The other day someone spoke those words to me accompanied by a heartfelt sigh. Unhappiness is a burden we carry at times and it can be debilitating. Is there a cure? It is easier to contemplate the idea that we cause much of our unhappiness by attaching so much energy and attention to the cause—loss, unwelcome change, illness, our own or that of someone we are close to, disappointment and so on—than to change our state of mind about the situation. Yet change our attitude is exactly what we need to do. As Hamlet in the famous Shakespeare play of the same name says, “There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so.” Here are some proven “cures.”
- Be content that 100% of your effort in whatever you undertake is perfect enough. Don’t obsess about how you can achieve 110%. Between you and me, as you grow older and wiser, you learn that 90% will do very well, too.
- Be content in the knowledge that not everyone you desire to help and accommodate to wants or needs your help or accommodation. Some people find your constant attention annoying. Offer yourself and then wait for the other person to step toward you. Don’t feel rejected and unhappy if they don’t, there are many reasons why they are not open to you at that moment, and they almost certainly have nothing to do with you.
- Be content not to always be “doing”: performing, achieving, always being “on” can become burdensome. Be assured that you are also living life if sometimes you can just “be.” In other words be content to be a human being and not a human “doing”.
- Be content with what you have and try not to struggle with envy of what others have or what you can’t have. For instance, if your finances do not allow it, don’t page through high-end glossy catalogs and desire what you see there; those material goods that you never knew you wanted until you opened the pages. If this is a cause of unhappiness, don’t look at those offerings, don’t read the catalog, no one is forcing you to be envious or focus on what is missing in your life.
- Be content with the knowledge you can gather about a topic and relax into the idea of being reasonably knowledgeable. You can’t be an expert on everything. In our information age there is no end to resources and sources of more information. Pursuing this shifting goal obsessively can cause great mental anguish.
- Be content to be present in the moment and drop the “over thinking” habit. Like a drug habit we can become caught up in our stories, memories and judgments and once obsessive thinking kicks in we lose touch with the present and move into doubts, fears, questions of the future and past. We replay scenarios and double-guess ourselves over what we regret or anticipate what is to come. Usually these thoughts can dominate our desire to be balanced and present.
- Be content with your current environment whether at home, work or recreation. You know if you have a short attention span, so practice not losing focus. Don’t let your attention be drawn away by a fly buzzing, or another noise, or an itch. Be especially vigilant with mental activities such as thinking about future plans and options take over. If you find you are somewhere else in your mind than where you are supposed to be, break the chain of mental activity and refocus.
- Be content that the world will continue to spin whether you are there or not to control the axis. In other words take responsibility for what you can control and let go of trying to control what you know is beyond your ambit. This is especially relevant in relationships. Learn how to control yourself so you don’t scare people away with your inner power and desire for control, and let them take care of themselves. Otherwise you make yourself and those around you unhappy.
- Be content with your placidity and ability to feel compassion and empathy for others. People like a non-confrontational presence and energy, and you can help by listening and using your empathy to see their problem as they see it. This is a gift. It is important to feel compassion for yourself as well.
These “cures” all lead back to how we process our life’s experiences. We can choose unhappiness or be content knowing we are coping as best we can. We can never find permanent happiness and contentment in outer objects and activities. We need to recognize that we can choose the peace of mind that is present naturally for us. We simply have to become conscious of its existence.
I just couldn’t depart your site prior to suggesting that I actually enjoyed the standard info a person provide for your visitors? Is gonna be back often to check up on new posts
Excellent weblog right here! Also your site so much up very fast! What host are you the use of? Can I get your associate link on your host? I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol
Hi, Neat post. There’s a problem with your web site in internet explorer, would test this… IE still is the market leader and a good portion of people will miss your magnificent writing because of this problem.
I’m still learning from you, but I’m improving myself. I certainly enjoy reading all that is written on your website.Keep the information coming. I liked it!
I stumbled uppon your blog and find it really informative. Your aritcle writing is clear, to the point and straight forward. I’m going to look into more of your posts. Look forward to more!
Hello, Nice work! Good weblog. Thank you for this specific material I had been seeking all Msn to be able to locate it!
It is hard to discover knowledgeable folks during this subject, even so, you can be seen as do you know what you’re dealing with! Thanks
Hello webmaster, commenters and everyone else !!! blog was absolutely wonderful!
One of the things I love about blogs is that they provoke an idea in my head. The moment that happens, I feel like I have to write a comment hoping it may be interesting to others. For the reason that there are various blogs and forums with different points of view, they question your understanding. It is at these moments when you have significant insignt others may not have had, together with the blogger himself/herself. I find myself coming back to your web log mainly because you have various wonderful insights and you are already at this a very long time, that is very exciting and tells me you know your stuff. Keep sparking imagination in other people!
of course like your web-site but you need to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I find it very troublesome to tell the truth nevertheless I’ll certainly come back again.
I do agree with all of the ideas you have presented in your post. They’re very convincing and will definitely work. Still, the posts are too short for newbies. Could you please extend them a little from next time? Thanks for the post.
Unquestionably believe that which you stated. Your favorite reason seemed to be on the internet the easiest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I definitely get irked while people think about worries that they just don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people could take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks
whoah this blog is excellent i love reading your articles. Keep up the great work! You know, many people are hunting around for this info, you can help them greatly.
Hi, Great article, I’ve bookmarked this page and have a feeling I’ll be returning to it regularly.
whoah this blog is fantastic i love reading your articles. Keep up the great work! You know, lots of people are looking around for this info, you could help them greatly.
Hey, Nice job! This is my first time i visit here. I discovered so numerous fascinating stuff in your site.
It’s actually a nice and helpful piece of info. I am glad that you shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
Hey very nice blog!! Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I’ll bookmark your blog and take the feeds also…I am happy to find a lot of useful information here in the post, we need develop more techniques in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .
I conceive you’ve got noted some extremely fascinating details , appreciate it for the post.
Thanks for another informative site. Where else could I get that type of information written in such an ideal way? I’ve a project that I am just now working on, and I’ve been on the look out for such info.
Hi my friend! I want to say that this post is awesome, nice written and include approximately all vital infos. I’d like to see more posts like this .
I really like what you guys are up too. This type of clever work and reporting! Keep up the fantastic works guys I’ve you guys to blogroll.
Hello, i think that i saw you visited my blog thus i came to “return the favor”.I am attempting to find things to enhance my website!I suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas!!
I’m impressed, I have to say. Actually hardly ever do I encounter a weblog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you’ve hit the nail on the head. Your concept is excellent; the issue is one thing that not sufficient individuals are talking intelligently about. I’m very pleased that I stumbled throughout this in my seek for something referring to this.
I have not checked in here for some time as I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are great quality so I guess I will add you back to my everyday bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂
It’s the best time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I want to suggest you few interesting things or tips. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I desire to read even more things about it!
I am a long time watcher and I just believed I’d drop by and say hello there for that very first time. I genuinely enjoy your posts. Cheers
Hi, Nice job! Fantastic blog. Thank you for this specific material I had been seeking all Google to be able to locate it!
A person essentially help to make seriously articles I would state. This is the very first time I frequented your web page and thus far? I amazed with the research you made to make this particular publish extraordinary. Fantastic job!
I don’t have time to look over it all at the moment but I have bookmarked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time
I’d should verify with you here. Which is not one thing I often do! I take pleasure in studying a submit that can make folks think. Also, thanks for allowing me to remark!
Nice post. I learn one thing more difficult on completely different blogs everyday. It’s going to all the time be stimulating to read content from different writers and practice somewhat one thing from their store. I’d prefer to use some with the content on my weblog whether you don’t mind. Natually I’ll give you a link in your net blog. Thanks for sharing.
I always seem to grow from these type of blogs. Generally people have a different point of view which allows the read to be more colorful and sometimes controversial which can open our brains.
Spot on with this write-up, I really think this web site needs way more consideration. I’ll in all probability be again to read much more, thanks for that info.
Valuable info. Lucky me I found your web site by accident, and I’m shocked why this accident did not happened earlier! I bookmarked it.
I like the valuable info you provide in your articles. I will bookmark your weblog and check again here regularly. I am quite sure I will learn a lot of new stuff right here! Good luck for the next!
Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that I have truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!
Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with a few pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is magnificent blog. A great read. I’ll certainly be back.
Hey, Great article! This is very much helpful for my research and i hope to run through more of your posts someday! How i wish i can see you in person so i can get to know you more.
you are really a good webmaster. The website loading speed is amazing. It seems that you’re doing any unique trick. Moreover, The contents are masterwork. you have done a fantastic job on this topic!
naturally like your web-site but you need to check the spelling on several of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very bothersome to tell the truth nevertheless I will certainly come back again.
Nice weblog! Plenty of helpful information here. I was looking for this.Thanks for sharing!
You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something that I think I would never understand. It seems too complex and very broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!
Simply want to say your article is as astounding. The clarity in your post is simply excellent and i could assume you’re an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission allow me to grab your feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the enjoyable work.